Are we the waiting?
by jmmy
Summary: Daniel deals with loss angst, language. Songfic to Greendays Are We The Waiting I HIGHLY recommend that you listen to it as you read. This is not pretty people if you wont like it, dont read it.


'_Starry nights, city lights_

Coming down over me' 

As he stared out of one of the few windows on the base, he looked back on the scene two days ago. Cassie had come home gushing about the new album that he'd brought for her – greenday.

'Skyscrapers and stargazers in my head' 

Funny how a band known for their childish music had come out with songs that had a grown man in tears....

"Danny, you _have_ to buy this! I mean, come on, its _Greenday_."

"I'm not the kinda guy that sits and listens to ANY kind of punk, honey. I'm more of an indie person myself...."

"Oh, come on! Please? For me?"

"Fine..."

'Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown' 

Now wishing he'd never given in to those puppy dog eyes, he listened in his quarters on the base to a song that was tearing him in two with memories. Memories of lost love....

"Janet!" All he could hear was weapons fire, but the whole world had narrowed down to her face. "I need a medic!"

'This dirty town was burning down in my dreams 

_Lost and found city bound in my dreams, and screaming'_

The staff blast had come out of nowhere. She'd been doing her job, for Christ's sake. All she'd ever wanted to do was help people, and she'd been snatched from the world so soon. Taken before he could tell her that he loved her...

'_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting and screaming,_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting'_

He wished he'd never lost that time when he was ascended. He had only just got the memories of them back, of stolen moments, of the real reason he ended up in the infirmary after almost every mission, when she was taken from him again. He'd never forget the look on her face as she tried to talk...

"D – Daniel? So cold."

"Hold on Jan...I'm here...MEDIC!"

"Won't hel...help. Too late...."

"Don't you dare give up on me Janet! Not now!"

"Love you..."

Those were her last words, barely perceptible. He'd not told anyone, not even Cass – he knew Janet would have wanted Cassie to know she loved her, so he told everyone her last words were for her daughter. He was the only one that knew, and he had held in the tears for too long. Two months too long.

'Forget me nots and second thoughts 

_Live in isolation'_

She smelled like forget-me-nots. It was amazing how accurate this song was, in pinpointing both his feelings and reality. Two months, and a song had finally brought out the tears that he had tried so hard to bottle up inside.

'Heads or tails, and fairytales in my mind' 

He'd tried so hard to stay strong for Cassie – in the end, no one had been surprised when he'd taken her in instead of Sam. Besides, Sha-re, Sarah...he was used to losing the women he loved, right?

'Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown,' 

But after the first line of the song, he'd found himself on the floor; hands around his knees, rocking and bawling like a baby. He missed her so goddamn much. How could he lose her? She had been everything to him, and he hadn't been able to tell her...

'_The rage and love, the story of my life_

The Jesus of suburbia is a lie, and screaming' 

It was the story of his life – every time he found love it was taken from him. He thought of the big metal ring that lived in the basement of the complex, and how much it had taken from him. He wished to God he had never translated that fucking tablet that had lead them to Abydos in the first place. Wished the Stargate had never been opened....

As he sat there falling apart, he wished that he could have taken it all back, wished his whole life had never happened. Wished that he could use the gun that sat in his hand and end it forever, but as the song ended or what must have been the hundredth time, he finally shut off the CD player, put the gun back in its box, and dried his eyes. Cassie would be waiting for him to pick her up from school, and he wanted to be there for her. She needed support as much as he did right now. That was why he couldn't go....

'_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting and screaming_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting and screaming_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown, _

Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown' 

Janet smiled, looking at the man she had loved since the moment he first came into her infirmary. She knew he would eventually see her again, and until then, she whispered "_I love you...Goodbye, Danny.'_

_Starry nights, city lights_

_Coming down over me_

_Skyscrapers and stargazers in my head_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown_

_This dirty town was burning down in my dreams_

_Lost and found city bound in my dreams, and screaming_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting and screaming,_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting_

_Forget me nots and second thoughts_

_Live in isolation_

_Heads or tails, and fairytales in my mind_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown,_

_The rage and love, the story of my life_

_The Jesus of suburbia is a lie, and screaming_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting and screaming_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting and screaming_

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown, _

_Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown_

_ - Are we the waiting, Greenday._


End file.
